dreams
i bought zzquill. i bought the melatonin gummies to be exact. i love dreaming. i'm not a lucid dreamer or anything, but it's just. nice. for about 6 hours (if I'm lucky), everything feels better. i fluff my pillow and just, think about things I want to dream about.
sometimes i think about you. i think about when i was a kid. i think about helping my aunt while she got ready for her classroom. i think about when i was 17 and still in high school worried about my future. i think about the first time i rode a bike, how my father took a photo, and that became his wallpaper for years.
it's nice to dream that everything feels alright. it feels nice to talk to you in my dreams and you're telling me about your life. you're telling me about this guy you have a crush on. you're taking me for a ride in your car. you're pushing away all of the water bottles you never cleaned out of your car.
you're showing me your place for the first time, a bit messy, but you're proud that it's yours. it's nice to dream that maybe a date went the right way. that we'd go to that bar again and talk about how much you hate your job. or maybe the guy who ghosted me on hinge bumps into me on the street and somehow within a second, we're hanging out at my place.
dreams are so fun to the point it's all I look forward to these days. it's bliss and peaceful from all of the bad things in life. the stress of work, school, friends, everything just...goes away for a bit. every night at (probably) 1AM, my problems dissolve into a perfect replicated reality where everything is ok. you're here. everyone's here. everyone's happy. i'm happy. i'm finally at a place where i just feel...here.